Some of you may remember that old T-shirt that was going around...."A Flight Attendant is here to save your ass...not kiss it". Try to keep in mind that your f/a's have gone through extensive training for CPR, airplane evactuation, raft deployment and set up, first aid, gun and bomb training, hijacking training and even had films on how to deliver a baby. So the next time you look at one, remember your last waitress probably didn't offer the option of an AED or CPR while you dined. The flight crew are primarily there for your safety and that is their number one concern. Remember that flight attendants work rules are prehistoric. They have some very grueling work rules these days and get jet lag just like you do. On international flights they are up all night, and in the constant mode of "care giver". Please treat them with respect.

For many of you this section may not apply, however we've all flown or sat next to that passenger who should be reading this. As we say in the airline world, "passengers seem to check their brains and bring on their luggage". So if this doesn't apply to you and you would never think of doing these things, thank you for being a great passenger! But, for those others....

Boarding.

• Don't fly sick. All you do is get everyone around you sick. Flying with a cold can mean blocked ears. Flying with blocked ears can be painful, and if an eardrum ruptures, it could lead to permanent ear damage.
• Don't try to board before your group # or Letter is called. Think you won't get get caught, you will. If you are to board in the last group, stand away from the gate, so those who are getting called can get by you and board.
• Don't carry on excessive luggage or oversize bags. Most airlines are cracking down and space is limited. You should carry a large bag and a purse or briefcase. If you are bringing on 2 items, store 1 in the overhead and 1 under the seat in front of you. Don't hog overhead bin space with jackets and coats. Place your jacket on top of your own suitcase in the overhead bin. Don't store your bag in first class or near the front of the plane if you are seated in the rear of the airplane. Try to stick to an overhead bin close to your seat.
• If you can't lift your bag into the overhead bins, check it. Don't ask someone else to break their back lifting what you packed, drug to the car, drug to the airport, and drug around the airport. You pack it, you stack it.
• If you need to move someone else's luggage, ask them first.
• Board quickly and don't linger at the entryway, it backs up traffic in the jetway. Once you get on board, quickly stow your belongings and move into the row of seats so others coming behind you can pass by and get to their seat.
• Carry your bag in front of you as you walk down the aisle. I have seen so many people carry a bag on their shoulder and hit every passenger in the head as they move down the aisle. Not very fun for the seated passenger and you may get called a few names.
• Sit in your assigned seat until everyone has boarded. If you are traveling alone and someone asks you to switch seats with them to be next to a friend or family member, imagine how you might feel in their position. Be a good sport and maybe someday, someone will do the same for you. Who know, a flight attendant may even give you a free drink or headphone for being accommodating.
• The seats are ----inches. You are paying for this space, nothing more. If your ass is larger, buy another seat. Don't force someone to sit next to you, stealing their space they paid for.
• Go to the bathroom before you get on the plane. Why would you want to use this one that smells like an outhouse, and rarely gets cleaned anyway?

During Flight.

• Don't hog the armrests. As a rule of thumb, the person in the middle seat should get the armrest, since if you are in the aisle or window you have a little more room. Think of the armrests as divider walls, not to be used, but to mark each person's "personal space".
• Don't recline your seat all the way, especially at meal time (of course this doesn't apply to first class). It can make it next to impossible for the person behind you to use their tray table. Let's face it, coach is cramped.
• Don't remove your shoes if your feet smell! If you take off your shoes please wear slipper sox to contain the aroma.
• Don't go to the bathroom barefoot. Do you have any idea how many men miss the toilet during turbulence? Do you have any idea how little these bathrooms actually get cleaned? There is also many a glass that has been broken on the floor close to the galley areas. If there is any small pieces of glass left behind (we don't have vacuums) you may get a cut foot. Another reason not to go bare foot, boy have I seen some ugly feet. You may not impress your fellow passengers.
• Don't talk your fellow seat mate's ear off. What a bore to be held captive by some blabber mouth when you are just in the mood to sleep or read. Be considerate, if they act interested great. If not, be considerate. Keep your conversations quiet, you never know who around you may also be listening to your conversation. If someone is driving you crazy with their stories, it is polite to tell them you are tired and would like to relax. Just say it in a nice way.
• Control your kids! Don't let them run all over the airplane. Bring them toys or a book, something to do. Keep them busy and don't expect the flight attendants to entertain them and play babysitter. Mind the call lights, and don't let your kids press them over and over. Remember, they are primarily for emergencies.
• Don't snap your fingers when trying to get the flight attendants attention, or make that anoying "pssstttt" sound.
• Don't grab the seat in front of you when you are getting up, it is rude to the person sitting there. This is the time to use your arm rest.
• Don't kick the seat in front of you, or allow your child to do this. How would you like it?
• Don't stand in front of the in-flight movie. You make a better door than a window.
• Don't hold business meetings in the aisle. Go out on the wing for that.
• Don't change your baby's diaper in the middle seat, or on the floor, or the galley where the food is served. Go to the lav, most are equipped with changing tables.
• Don't clog up the aisles while the flight attendants are using the food and beverage carts. Let them do their jobs. Most of the liquor carts can weigh up to 450 pounds, and it is very difficult to keep moving them for some passenger going to the lavatory Time your bathroom break accordingly.
• Don't stand behind the flight attendant waiting for the cart to miraculously disappear. It won't. You'll only cause a collision between you both when she goes to retrieve something or bend down.
• If you are opening yogurt of something sealed, you may want to turn it away from you, the air pressure makes it splatter.
• If you spill something on someone, apologize and offer to pay for their dry cleaning.
• The bathroom is not your personal dressing room/shower. Be quick and clean up after yourself.
• Alcohol is magnified at high altitudes, be aware of this. One drink in the air can equal 2 or 3 on the ground. Plan accordingly.
• Don't try to read your seat mates newspaper or computer, it is soooo obnoxious.
• Don't sleep on your seat mate's shoulder or drool on them.
• Don't try to have sex on the plane, it is just gross, inappropriate and passengers don't want to watch it, or listen to it.
• Don't yell at the flight attendant over weather delays. Yep, it's surely her fault and she has a computer handy, just waiting to help you with your connection.
• If you need to fart, go to the bathroom.

Deplaning.

• Don't jump up and try to be the first one off the plane. Wait till the plane comes to a complete stop at the gate, where are you going to go anyway before the door is opened? Wait your turn. It takes less time in the long run and makes it easier for everyone. If you are handicapped, have excessive luggage, or need a little more time, let those behind you go and wait till last.
• Remember to carry your luggage in front of you as you depart.
• Don't linger on the jet way waiting for friends, wait for them up at the gate. It keeps the jet way clear for wheelchair/stroller folks. If you are greeting friends at the gate, move away from the jet way entrance so fellow passengers can keep deplaning.